Do You
by Moonlight M3lody
Summary: Songfic, song by Ne-Yo. He has tried to move on for such a long time, but there's still a gaping wound where she used to be. Does she even think about him anymore? Do they really lost their friendship forever? Edit:Lyrics has been taken down


A/N: Song by Ne-Yo, Do You. I haven't hear this song but read the lyrics at my friend's. It screams 'Galeniss' before I even finished with the third line. Dunno why I like to torture my favorite character so much. You can find the lyrics somewhere. I have edited them out. Thanks to Hito me Bore for reminding me!

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He closes his eyes, gripping the phone in his palm, clinging to it as if his whole life depends to it. In some ways, perhaps it is. He blinks. Once, twice. For anything's sake, what's he trying to do? No matter how much he wants to let go, his mind wouldn't let him. Words slur in his tongue, ready to be said. However the mouth remains closed.

He wants to talk to her, hearing her voice, her laugh, anything to remind him of her, that she's alive and well and happy. He might as well hop into a train to visit her in person, but no. direct rejection would be too much. Too painful. Though years has passed, the gaping wound is thill there, fresh and bloody, and no one would be good enough to heal it. He remembers dream and nightmare alternating his sleep, yet almost every night she would be there.

She never wanders too far from his mind. Sometimes between the thick vegetation of the woods, sometimes in the eyes of little girls playing by the street, sometimes in the song of the Mockingjays, and most of the times, within his heart, under layer of memories and denial.

Greasy Sae keeps him updated. Eventually, after fifteen years of convincing, she gives in, and now the child has born. Part of him is happy, that that means she finally overcome her greatest fear, and part of it is grieving, because it's not him who's able to move her to that decision. He wants to meet her, to take a look at the baby, congratulates her. But he doesn't even have the courage to dial her number.

Peeta will understand. He will, right? Afterall, in her honor he has tried to move on. He succeeds, somewhat. Now he has a little boy and girl calling him 'daddy'. No one will be able to replace her in his heart, so he left that room void.

His head replays that day about sixteen years ago. The star-crossed lovers' wedding. After so much pain, they're far from ill fated now. Perhaps the happiest family in the world, completing each other.

He has no intention to disturb the happy family now. He just wants to try, fixing the broken bonds, saying sorry. Although maybe the opposite party doesn't acknowledge his existence in their lives anymore. They have led separate lives, afterall.

He has wife and child. They might not be what he used to imagine, but he treasures them now. He has learn to love them through time, to love what he has and not what he used to have. He's responsible for his family. Gale Hawthorne would never abandon responsibility. Even if he meets her, all he wants to do is to apologize. To mend. Because it's too late for both of them.

He's afraid if he ever cross the distance they created, he can no longer find the girl in his memories and she couldn't find the boy who hunted with her either. From sister to crush to cousin then part lover (she never truly his, afterall) to stranger. Who's the coward? While she too has her share of mistakes, he was the one who cut their ties without telling a single word. It's selfish enough that he now regrets it and all he wants is to get his friend back. His Catnip. It's too late, too late for being more now, but there should be, somewhere, scraps of their friendship to salvage.

She never attempts to find him, does she? Greasy Sae said she let it go once she learnt he had settled in District 2. Is he so insignificant in her life? Or that's because he has taken part in the most unforgivable crime, the bombing? Though indirectly, he has killed her sister, and lives with the guilt for years. If there's anything like most difficult action to do, for them it's to stop blaming themselves and just accepting. They don't know when to stop grieving. Katniss likes to torture herself too, shouldering guilt for things she never do. That's one of their similarities. Torturing, yes. But comforting. Thinking that someone blame you is a lot better than thinking that that someone wouldn't care whether you're alive or dead.

_One, two, three._ Just a few numbers more and he will be connected to her. Fifteen years. How could he survive that long without her? Without anyone to watch his back?

He bitterly swallows the thought. He needs him. Probably thousand times more than she needs him. She has a new protector now, while he's away from everybody he loves most.

_Four,five,six_. All he has to do is to press the dial button. Shouldn't be so hard, right? Then those nightmares would be gone.

As always, he hangs the phone, leaving it at that, remorse overtaking his courage and like everyday in the past years, he gives up in his try. Perhaps tomorrow? He couldn't bear-after everything he has done to her-doing something that could ruin her happiness, ever so slightly. He turns his back to the small corner and leaves the room, old set of bow and arrow slung on his shoulder.


End file.
